Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
I read your column about wedding gifts getting expensive. I am in a good friend’s wedding, and I have spent a lot of money on the dress, accessories, and I have to pay to travel to get to the wedding itself. I am also flying in for a shower for the bride. My question is if you go to a shower and the wedding, do you need to purchase two different gifts? I feel like I have done enough already.
Etiquette says that you should purchase two separate gifts. I understand that you have gone to a lot of expense for the wedding so far, so consider something such as going in with other people in the wedding party for the wedding gift, or for the shower gift, or even both. I am sure other people in the wedding party are feeling overloaded with expenses as well. This way you are giving something for each, but are not spending very much.
Dear Mrs. McVeigh,
My husband and I are pregnant with our first child. I am determined to eat well and continue my exercise routine because I don’t think being pregnant is an excuse to sit around and eat and gain unnecessary weight.
My whole family, including my mother-in-law knows my big hang-up about being careful to not gain “fat.” I have told me whole family that I want to look like one of those pregnant women who look like they are all baby. So far I feel like I have achieved that. With that being said, I saw my mother-in-law the other day and she had the nerve to pat my tummy with a smile and said “you are getting so fat.” I wanted to take her down right then and there. Do you have any advice of how to handle this situation? My husband said that I should let it go, but that is not going to happen.
Angry Pregnant Chick
Dear Angry Pregnant Chick,
Congratulations of your pregnancy. I would nicely talk to my mother-in-law about it next time you see her. Take her aside and say something like, “Mom, you said I was fat the other day. That really hurt my feelings. I am working to hard to eat well and exercise, because I want this baby to be healthy, and I want to stay healthy. I feel like I have done a good job so far, and do not consider myself fat.” See what her response to that is, and then go from there. She will probably explain that she did not mean that you are getting fat literally, but just are looking pregnant. If she tells your husband that she was offended by the confrontation, tell him to tell her that you are pregnant and the word “fat” is considered offensive to people.