Dear Mrs. McVeigh,

College football season is big among our family and friends, and we are looking forward to the Texas / OU game.  Can you please tell our OU friends how to have good manners before, during, and after a game? 

Anonymous UT Fan

Dear Anonymous UT Fan,

Set a good example with your manners.  Keep comments factual and not emotional.  Compliment the other team when they do something good.  When you score getting excited is fine, but don’t act obnoxious.  If you do win, be gracious and say good game.  If you lose, say good game and don’t complain about anything being unfair. 

 A few weeks ago I sat down with my husband and discussed my latest work project with him.  I am putting out a kid’s DVD on manners. As I told him all about it the wheels in his brain were turning.  He then asked a question that we both knew the answer to.  He asked me if I was going to become obsessed with the project, and lose the balance in my life.  Anyone who knows me knows I give everything I do 150%, which unfortunately can throw off your balance.  

How do you keep a balance in your life? I look at it in three steps.  You list out what you need to and like to do, prioritize the items, and then constantly reassess.   Balance is something that I have learned to constantly question about my life, and when I forget to question it is when things seem to spin out of control.  The first step in achieving a balance is to sit down and list out your priorities.  For me it is my husband and three children, work, volunteer work, house, exercise/health, and friends.  They do not necessarily go in that order, but I know that family always needs to come first.  When I am not achieving a balance the other items in the list become juggling balls. I have them all in the air at once, and am trying not to drop any of them at any time.  When you juggle the items in your life you are being reactive and not proactive.  When I get to that point I take a time out and get the list out again.

After you list all of your priorities decide the order of their importance.   Volunteer work was a huge priority for me several years ago.  It has been about five years since I have taken on any major volunteer positions, and I decided I rather devote my extra time to working.  This year I have taken on a large volunteer role at my kid’s school, but I am determined to find time for it and for work.  If I can strike a healthy balance between the two I will feel successful in leading a “balanced life.”  At times we cannot control the balance because projects can become larger than they were supposed to become, or we just do not make an informed decision on how much time they will take.  If that happens, get through it the best that you can, and when possible reach out to others and get help, if it is your boss, co-workers, or fellow volunteers.   Once again, the faster that you can acknowledge that things are out of control, the faster you can come up with solutions and then go back to achieving a balance.  This kind of assessment is what will make you proactive instead of reactive.

Finding a balance in life is important.  It makes us better people for those around us, and can eliminate a lot of stress in our everyday lives.  You can do this by listing out what you need to and like to do, prioritize, and then constantly reassess.   

 Dear Mrs. McVeigh,

Now that the fall sports season is here, please remind your readers of some basic etiquette guidelines for those spectators who are there to enjoy the games. Here are some of my pet peeves.

·      Standing up in front of everyone and blocking the view of those behind you. (You don't see people standing up in their seats at the movies.)

·      Talking loud on your cell phone.

·      Yelling at the referees during the game.

·      Yelling at one of the players during the game.

·      Coaching from the parents during the game.

·      Letting small children run wild.

·      Booing the opposing team.

Sincerely,

A Sports Fan

 Dear Mrs. McVeigh,

I have a child who has demonstrated some naughty behavior over the past two days, which has not been remediated by our discipline strategies. She was told that if her behavior did not change, she would not be permitted to engage in any fun activities this weekend. The behavior worsened, so she lost her fun activities. The problem is one of the activities was a birthday party on Saturday that I already committed to attending. I always tell the kids that I mean what I say and I say what I mean, but now what? Is there an etiquette rule about such situations? I hate to leave the birthday child and the birthday parents in the lurch, but I also hate to look like a flaky blow-hard in my child's eyes. Thanks for any clarification you can provide.

Best wishes,

Rude, but Well-Meaning Mama

Dear Well-Meaning Mama,

I think that it is fine taking away the birthday party. The parents of the birthday child should understand. You can take it a step further by having your child go to the birthday child's house either before or after the party and apologize to the birthday child and parents for not attending.  She can then explain why she suddenly cannot attend, and she can give the child the present.  This will make a big impact on her, and she will think twice about her behavior.  It will also teach her about RSVP/party etiquette.

People seem to love the Kindermusik Meeting and Greeting webisode!  Thank you to everyone who has given us such great feedback on it!  Continue to pass it onto your friends.  Together we will wipe out the bad manners in this world!